Candy Sunshine

Taste the thing that MADE the F****** Rainbow!

Candy Sunshine Three Pack

$4.99

 

It's like eating the essence of summer!

• Delicious and chewy drops of pure magic.
• Taste like flowers and freedom.
• Three bags per three pack (duh).

Sometimes, we have it in a bag. Other times, we have it on a cloudy day. Some days we have it in our pocket. And sometimes we're just walking on it. Yeah, we mean sunshine! Sunshine makes the flowers grow and the world come alive. And guess what? Now you can eat it, drop by drop. How? Get some Candy Sunshine, that's how.
Candy Sunshine is a really unique candy. They are drops of very chewy gummy candy and taste like all sorts of things blended into one. Flowers and sunlight and sugar and unicorns and that certain kind of wonder which can only happen on a summer's day. The taste of Candy Sunshine is sort of hard to pin down, unless you use words like "delicious," and "super awesome tasty wow!" So get a three pack of Candy Sunshine now, and bring a little sunshine into your life.
P.S. The "Inspired by the Original" on the packaging refers to Candy Raisins - a candy homegrown, beloved, and not available anymore from the Midwest.


Candy Sunshine

• One of the most unique candies ever - very chewy gummy candy.
• The taste is hard to place. It tastes sort of like flowers, sort of like dreams, and sort of like summer.
• We love 'em.
• Each three pack is three bags. So maybe you should share? Nah.
• Net Wt.: 2.5oz per bag

Batman Money Clip

Who is dumb enough to steal Batman's money?

No one, that's who.

Protect Your Money With The Batman Money Clip

(though it may take all your money to get it...)

$39.99

Let Batman protect your wealth

• A tiny batarang to fold around your precious money
• Die-cast and sheathed in matte black rubberized coating
• Magnetized grip holds your cash in place

It's a pity that Bruce Wayne couldn't use this money clip. At least not while he's being a billionaire playboy. Then again, we figure that he probably doesn't carry large wads of green. On the other hand, Batman isn't exactly swinging the Batmobile through the drive-thru at his favorite burger joint either. So it's up to you to fly your Bat flag high with this super sweet Batman Money Clip.
It's a tiny batarang that folds protectively over your precious money, keeping it from flying away. Die-cast, sheathed in a ninja-like matte black rubberized coating and with a magnetized grip, this is the stealthiest and most effective batarang money clip on the face of the planet.
Product Specifications

• A tiny batarang to fold around your precious money
• Die-cast and sheathed in matte black rubberized coating
• Magnetized grip holds your cash in place
• Don't forget to have your Batmobile detailed

Big Red Button

Didn't you learn anything in school?

NEVER press the big red button!

Unless it's a light switch, 

in that case press it a bunch!

Panic Button Light Switch Replacement Kit

$24.99 

Don't Panic!

• Standard US Light-switch replacement with red Panic Button
• Acts as a dimmer switch, or smack it on or off
• Turn your room into a sci-fi thriller!

In every sci-fi film or TV show, there is usually one easily recognizable trope - no, not the hypersexual female alien in the skin-tight cat-suit, though she does make a fairly regular appearance. The answer we're looking for is the panic-button. You know, the Red Button™! The big shiny candy-like button that erases history, ejects the warp core, blows the emergency seals, activates the self-destruct, sounds red-alert, engages the hyperdrive, activates the halide fire-retardants, or simply flushes the waste-disposal system is a regular character in most sci-fi.
It's curious, then, that the Big Red Button™ doesn't appear in your home or office! Wouldn't it be great to have one of those buttons, even if pressing it doesn't warn the sentries that the world-killer virus has escaped containment? What about your light-switch? Isn't that little flippy-lever overdue for a makeover?
Sure it is, otherwise, you wouldn't have read this far! What we're offering is a wired replacement for your light-switch. Just turn off the breakers, pull out the light-switch and replace it with this one. It's a wire-for-wire swap, so it should be easy. Please be safe, though, and double - nay - TRIPLE CHECK that the breakers were switched before doing any home wiring. When you're done, you've got a Big Red Button™ that, when slapped, will turn on and off your lights.
Also, if you just want to dim your lights and your computer voice-activation phrase isn't recognized by your home-automation equipment, your new Big Red Button™ also acts as a dimmer. Instead of smacking it, a gentle turn will lower the illumination to a level suitable for alien seduction.

Features

• US Light-switch replacement kit
• 2 3/4" by 4 1/4" brushed aluminum wall plate and large red dimmer switch
• Not suitable for fighter ejection panels, nuclear rod extraction, or fire suppression systems
• Let's be serious here:
  • Please use caution when performing any electrical work in your house
  • Make sure you trip the breaker to your outlet to the off position before attempting to replace your switch

MorphSuit

This is what a Ninja looks like a prom.

MorphSuit

$20.00 - $80.00

(Depending on size and style, there are a lot.) 

• You can breath, see and even drink through a Morphsuit!
• Made from 100% Lycra. Machine washable.

Thor Whisky

Wonder why Thor is always so confident and just B.A.?

'Cause he wakes up and drinks a bottle of this every day!

You have my personal guarantee that you will be as

 awesome as Thor, if you drink this.*

Highland Park - Thor 16 Year Old Single Malt Whisky

 $245.00

*awesome levels may very.

 Description:
Highland Park, based in the Orkney Islands, has turned to the fertile mythological history of its grounds as inspiration for the Valhalla Collection. Thor, named after one of the most famous of the Norse gods, will have the god’s symbolic hammer embossed on the bottle, and is presented in a beautifully carved wooden display case reminiscent of the bow of a traditional Nordic boat.

A rich amber hue, the new Highland Park Thor has an aromatic, smoky nose, with spicy, heady notes of antique copper, stewed plums, and golden syrup. Dry on the palate with hints of vanilla, blackberries, fresh mango, peach and cinnamon, the finish lingers with an ephemeral whisper of sweet vanilla. Thor has been bottled at sixteen years of age and at the natural cask strength of 52.1% ABV.

Laser Chess

It's like chess on crack!

With lasers and Pharaohs and stuff!

The Laser Game: Khet 2.0

$26.99

Seriously one of the funnest strategy games ever!

Product Description

Khet, The Laser Game, is played on an 80-square grid with a pharaoh and obelisk playing king and pawn, sort of, plus a mirrored pyramid and a wandering "djed," and it's chess-like, except for the lasers firing from the corners and bouncing off the mirrors

Unleash the Pharaoh's wrath. The completely redesigned Khet 2.0 Laser Game uses Egyptian mirrors and modern, eye-safe lasers to illuminate opponents and win the game. Combines simplicity of checkers and the strategy of chess. Mensa National Competition Winner. Batteries included. A fantastic game for every generation. 2 players adult For ages 9-adult.

Star Wars Cookbook

Ever wonder what a Wookiee tastes like?

Lick your arm pit...

Wookiee Cookies: A Star Wars Cookbook

$11.99

Book Description:

Boba Fett-Uccine and Princess Leia Danish Dos are just the beginning when the Force is with you in the kitchen. Wookiee Cookies is your invitation to fine culinary experiences in the Star Wars frame of mind. From C-3PO Pancakes to Jedi Juice Bars, this intergalactic Star Wars cookbook features healthy snacks, delicious dishes, sweet treats, and easy main courses no Rebel can resist. With hilarious photos and safety tips for cooking on Earth as well as in most space stations, Wookiee Cookies even includes a sheet of shiny Star Wars stickers. Age is no issue when it comes to Star Wars cuisine-kids as well as adults will have a great time with this book. Whether you drove to your first Star Wars flick or just had your fifth birthday, there's no reason you can't whip up some Crazy Cantina Chili at near light speed.

Juice to Alcohol

What is the point of magic

if it doesn't get you drunk?

 

Magic Juice to Alcohol Kit

$12.99 

for enough to make 384oz of 14%

That's like 64 beers worth of good old alcohol!

Ferment your own happiness

• Add a packet of magic to a big bottle of juice, and it will turn into an alcoholic delight within 48 hours.
• Juice will have an alcohol content of up to 14 percent. Dang.
• Six packets per kit (each packet will turn a 64oz bottle of juice into booze).

Every once in a while a product comes along that just stops us in our tracks. Sometimes it's a new gadget, sometimes it's an expensive piece of electronics. Today, it is something very low tech, but unbelievably awesome: the DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit. Take some deep breaths and get ready for the biggest smile you've had in a long time. Read on, friend.
The DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit is a simple little kit. First, you just have to get yourself a 64oz bottle of juice. Then pour in a packet of the DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit's yeast and pop the airlock top on. Inside the juice, the yeast will begin its sweet, sweet science - it will convert the fructose of the juice into alcohol and carbonation. Within 48 hours (you can start tasting after 24), you'll have your very own alcoholic beverage. This type of drink has been enjoyed in Europe for about a million years. The Germans call it Federweißer; the Austrians call it Sturm. We call it AWESOME. Get a DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit now and turn boring, healthy juice into the party beverage it was intended to become. Prost!
 
DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit

• With this kit and a 64oz bottle of juice, you'll be able to enjoy a sparkling, alcoholic beverage in 48 hours.
• Science causes the yeast in the kit to turn the fructose in the juice into alcohol and carbonation.
• Juice not included.
• Alcohol Content: once it has sat 48 hours, alcohol content can reach 14 percent.
• Includes: 6 yeast packets, 6 bottle labels, 1 airlock, 1 rubber stopper, and fun recipes.
• Ingredients: yeast, organic evaporated cane juice, emulsifier.
• Net Wt.: each packet contains 1g (0.035oz) of magic.

Toxic Cups

This cup slowly releases a toxic nuclear waste product that, in tests,

 gave about .7% of people super powers!

The other 99.3% died. But it's worth a shot!

 Polluted Glass, Set of 2

$11.00 

Product Features

• Set of 2 glasses
• Borosilicate glass
• Clever hazardous waste drum design
• Hand wash recommended

Floating Books

Now you have a place to put those self help books

your grandma keeps sending you.

Floating Books Book Shelf

$11.99

Product Features

• Screws into wall stud
• 15 pounds maximum
• 16-Inch max stack height
• Mounting Hardware Included
• Made in ChinaProduct Description

Product Description

The Conceal Book Shelf from Umbra is like nothing you have ever seen before! This book shelf, which holds up to 15 pounds of books, screws directly into a wall stud and presto - you have an invisible book shelf! The maximum stack height is 16-Inches. All hardware is included so all you need is a screwdriver. The Conceal Book Shelf, which has already won design awards, is innovative, inspirational and imaginative. Designed for you, only from Umbra.

Sun-Stache

We all know you can't grow a sweet 'stache like me,

so I give you the next best thing!

Sun-Staches "The Original Mustache Sunglasses" Catch eyes. Turn heads. BE THE PARTY.

$9.99

 

Product Description

SUN-STACHES ARE THE NEW CRAZE! They are a new, fun style of eye-ware, featuring what else? But a marvelous mustache! Need to look debonair for tonight's cocktail party? Looking for that extra touch of class for your next soiree? Sun-Staches are the answer to all your fashion follies. They're perfect for Halloween, parties, concerts and gag gifts for you and your friends. Sun-Staches are about having FUN! So, when you get your STACHE-tacular shades, take some photos and upload em to www.facebook.com/SunStaches! Show off your stache for the world to see!

Portal Hoodie

You have been chosen.

To test.

There is cake!

$59.99

 

It's not too late for you to turn back.

Congratulations on being accepted as a test candidate for the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. Please keep your hoodie on you at all times as the results of prolonged exposure of test subjects to the outside world are as yet unknown.


Officially-licensed Portal gear!
We've provided one end of this portal. The other end is up to you. Stuck in an endless meeting? Time to break out your handy dandy Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and WOMPF yourself a way out. Elementary school concert? WOMPF. DMV? WOMPF. The possibilities are endless.
This light grey full-zip hoodie is 100% cotton. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. The zipper pull is a silver-colored 2D Companion Cube. We recommend that you turn the hoodie inside out before washing in cold water. Tumble dry low. Be forewarned: this will shrink if you wash it in warm water or dry it on hot. If you anticipate accidentally doing that, you may want to order a size up. Or if you plan on eating a lot of cake.

The Cake Is A Lie!

Misfortune Cookies

Finally!

A cookie that's honest with you!

$10 for 10

The cookies hate you.

• Fortunes range from rude to insulting to mean to hilarious.
• 10 cookies in each package, each with a different fortune.
• Packaged in a quart-sized take out box.

You've stuffed yourself full of noodles and wontons and spicy bits of fried chicken. Oh, and egg rolls and dumplings and those crunchy soft things that you're not sure what they are, but dang are they good. And then the bill arrives - with fortune cookies. The fortune cookies serve to remind you how nice life can be as you are parted with your money; a reminder of the delicious meal you just ate. Cracking the cookie, you read the fortune inside: "You will die alone and poorly dressed." It's at that moment, when you are stunned and your friends laugh at you, that you realize you've been slipped a Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookie.
See, Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookies look just like the real thing because, well, they are the real thing. However each of the 10 cookies contains a mean, evil, funny, or depressing fortune. The wrappers are blank, encouraging you to prank friends, family, coworkers, strangers, anyone! Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookies also make great gifts to encourage creative anarchy in others. Like syphilis, but funnier and more tasty, Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookies are the gift that keeps on giving.
For nutrition information, click here.
Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookies

• Tasty fortune cookies with evil, cruel, and funny fortunes inside.
• Wrappers are blank to blend in with any restaurant decor and surprise your target.
• 10 individually wrapped cookies per package - each with a different fortune (though if you buy multiple packages, you might get repeats).
• WARNING: Not for children. Trust us.
• Packaging: All 10 cookies come packed in a quart sized take out box. Yum.

Laser Pet Toy

Do you enjoy confusing the sh*t out of your pets?

Of course you do!

Automatic Rotating Laser Pet Toy
$25.99

Product Features

• Fun Exercise for Cats & Dogs
• Variable Speed Settings
• Adjustable Timer
• 16 Exciting Play Combinations
• 360 Degree Laser Patterns

Product Description

DART™ is an automatic rotating laser light that provides hours of fun for your feline and canine friends. Place DART on the floor, turn it on and watch the chase begin! Variable speeds and timer settings offer 16 exciting play combinations.

Epic PowerBand

 

Rubber PowerBands are for pussies.

Get the Tony Stark Endorsed Magnetic 

Bracelet made from Adamantium!

Okay its made form Titanium,

which is almost as epic!

And if you got my joke, 

You're a nerd!

 Nerd.

Epic PowerBand

$199.99 

Tony Stark wears two!

• Exactly like the Power Bands seen in "The Avengers" - worn by Tony Stark.
• Made of titanium, carbon fiber, epoxy resin, and stainless steel.
• Limited Edition!

We've seen the scene from the movie (Click here to see it if you haven't yet). Loki visits Tony Stark's pad and they chat. Tony is behind his bar pouring a drink, of course. He surreptitiously reaches down and puts on two Power Bands - then has a cool line about avenging the Earth (get it?). Ok, so, did you know that the Power Bands are real? Yup, and we got 'em! Presenting the Avengers "Iron Man" MAGTITAN NEO LEGEND Power Band!
Now, the things they do in the movie are all special effects (added in post), but the Power Band is EXACTLY the same. That's right, this isn't a replica of a screen worn prop; the Power Band worn on screen is exactly the same as this one. So, buy an Avengers "Iron Man" MAGTITAN NEO LEGEND Power Band and you'll instantly be just like Robert Downey, Jr. and Tony Stark (well, at least with what's around your wrist). Plus, the fact that it's made out of titanium, stainless steel, and carbon fiber is pretty frickin' sweet. Avengers "Iron Man" MAGTITAN NEO LEGEND Power Band - may it be just the beginning of your superhero(ine) career!
Avengers "Iron Man" MAGTITAN NEO LEGEND Power Band

• Exactly like the Power Bands seen in "The Avengers" - worn by Tony Stark.
• Limited edition.
• Fully licensed Marvel collectible.
• Materials: Titanium, stainless steel, carbon fiber, epoxy resin, and two 100mT (1,000G) ferrite permanent magnets.
• Sizing:
• Medium: 6.3" - 7.5"
• Large: 7.5" - 8.5"
• Width: approx. 0.59"

Auqa Notes

Naked ideas are the best ideas!

*Winky Face* 

And unless you're like me

 you're probably not naked all that often,

besides in the shower.

So make sure you have the tools to

 harness your naked brilliance!

Aqua Notes - Waterproof Notepad

$11.99

 Specs:

• Best Sellers ! These waterproof notepads help you capture and preserve your ideas before they're forgotten!
• They can use AquaNotes® to preserve those great term paper or class project ideas, organize thoughts and tasks for the day ahead, or to leave messages in the shower for roommates! Or they can draw, sketch, or doodle in the shower!
• AquaNotes® provides a convenient method for preserving notes, sketches, and records without having to worry about the soggy results that occur when trying to write on traditional paper in wet environments. Let AquaNotesTM meet your need for a paper pad that can take whatever the weatherman dishes out!
• 40 Pages

Balloon Roulette

 This is how you can play 

Russian Roulette if you're a p****

If you want to join the real Roulette Club

call me.

But you must abide by the rules.

#1: Don't talk about Roulette Club.

#2: Don't talk about Roulette Club.

Start Your Underground Balloon Roulette Game

$14.99

Product Description

Less 'bang bang you're dead,' more 'boing, pop, you're slightly deaf.' The Balloon Russian Roulette is a harmless version of classic Russian Roulette, taking away the blood, murder case and disposal of a body.Ideal Birthday and Christmas gifts, Balloon Russian Roulette involves pointing a 'gun' at another persons head with a balloon attached to the front, pulling the trigger will either produce nothing...or a pin that pops the balloon!An ideal party game for any occasion, have a blast with our Balloon Russian Roulette. Ideal for James Bond, cowboy or gangster themed parties, get the event started off with a bang thanks to this Russian Roulette game! If pin the tail on the donkey and musical statues isn't your kind of thing, organize a game of Balloon Russian Roulette. Why not personalize your game like us and put whipped cream or chocolate sauce in the balloon before inflating it. Messy but hilarious!

Armadillo Backpack

 Remember in middle school when kids would beat you up, 

so you would pretend you were an armadillo and roll into a ball?

...was that only me?

Anyway... this backpack is sick!

And it's reCYCLED

...see what I did there,

 'cause it's made from old bike tires...

Cyclus Pangolin Backpack made of reused tire inner tubes

$300.00

 Specs:

• Polyester lining
• Made out of reused tire inner tubes
• (Award winner) Retractable layers closure with magnets
• 13 liters capacity
• Airflow Back channels for comfort and ergonomics.
• Each article is one of a kind.

Zombie Survival Guide

I don't read much

But this book is a must.

It's a necessity if you want to survive 2016.

The Zombie Survival Guide

$13.95 

 The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

Micro Projector

Imagine porn movies on a 100 inch screen!

It would almost be life size.

AAXA M2 Micro Projector - Up to 100 inch screen
$324.95

• Ultra-bright 110 lumen LED light engine
• Sleek and Ultra-portable
• Onboard Keypad
• Built-in media player plays movies, photos, and music
• HDMI, Composite A/V and VGA inputs
• 1GB onboard memory and SD Card expansion slot
• Built-in speaker and headphone mini jack
• Infrared remote control

 The AAXA M2 Micro Projector is the world's first XGA micro projector. Weighing just 1 pound yet producing a vivid 110 lumen image with Vibrant Color technology, the AAXA M2 Micro Projector is the next generation ultra-portable multimedia projector. With power to produce 100" images*, a versatile media player, built-in storage, and an array of input options, the M2 redefines what is capable in mobile projection technology.

The AAXA M2 micro projector is the most powerful and fully-featured projector in its class. The M2 employs a next generation optical engine with Vibrant Color technology that produces high brightness and deep colors for a rich viewing experience. A high speed LCOS microdisplay panel and powerful Luminus PT-39 PhlatLight LED package are combined for the first time in the M2 to create a powerful yet efficient projection system.

The M2 mini projector feature a new high-speed video and image processor that supports up to 1280x720 resolution resolution video at 30 frames per second and a wide array of image and music formats. Content can be accessed through 1GB of onboard memory, an SD card slot accepting up to 16GB SD-HC cards, and the USB Host (On-the-Go) function for reading USB storage devices.

Unicorn Meat

 They live a good life up until they're slaughtered.

Wide open fields to play in, 

fresh mountain springs to drink from,

and all the midgets they can eat.

• Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.
• The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!

Canned Unicorn Meat

$11.95

URANIUM... WTF Mate?!

F***ing URANIUM! 

You can buy URANIUM on the internet...

WTF!?!?

If you buy this I'll throw in a free copy of 

"How to make a Nuclear Warhead to blow up 

Canada"

Sorry Canada. 

Uranium Ore

Only $39.99

• Radioactive Ore Sample
• License Exempt - low radioactivity
• Useful for testing Geiger counters
• Shipping compiles to NRC and postal regulations
• Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.