Magic Frustration Box

Give the Gift of Frustration!

 Magic IQ Gift Box

$9.99 

Piss off everyone! Even your dog!

• Wooden gift box that is also a puzzle
• Warning: Impatient giftees will break it open
• Gift not included! Provide your own.

Product Features

• Small wooden box has seemingly no way to open it and can store a small gift
• Box comes empty. You provide the gift
• Difficult to open... unless you know how
• No instructions are included
• Small box measures 10.5 cm x 6.5 cm x 4.5 cm. Interior area for storing your gift measures 8 cm x 1.6 cm (Your gift needs to be small. Like jewelry or folded up cash.)
• Large box measures 15.0 cm x 8.5 cm x 5.3 cm. Has TWO compartments.- 9.2 cm x 4.7 cm x 2.2 cm and 5.3 cm x 2.8 cm x 2.2 cm

Bacon Hand Sanitizer

I've found a way to rid the world of

both germs and things that don't smell like Bacon!

And the Bacon Raytm is in the works, 

I have my top men on it!

PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer

$1.99

 

Be as clean as a pig!

• Be germ-free and smell like delicious meat
• Are you as clean as a pig? You can be!
• Each bottle contains 2.25 ounces of hand sanitizer

In the words of a brilliant man, Homer Simpson:

All normal people love meat. If I went to a BBQ and there was no meat, I would say "Yo Goober! Where's the meat?" I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

If you're looking to win friends and influence people, we have the product that will launch you into super stardom. PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer will give your hands the distinct odeur of crisp, delicious bacon.
And as an added bonus, PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer actually santizes your hands, killing the germs you'll acquire when you shake the hands of all of those new friends you've just made.
Get some today and remember what Homer said, "You don't win friends with salad."
Product Specifications

• Bacon scented hand sanitizer for humans
• Be germ-free and smell like delicious meat
• Are you as clean as a pig? You can be!
• Each bottle contains 2.25 ounces of hand sanitizer

Bacon Soap

 This is mostly for women,

it will make any man love you.

Any. 

(Key word is MAN, it wont attract sissy girls)

Bacon Soap  

$5.99

 

The other type of meat rub

• Looks and smells like bacon, but it's a bar of soap
• Comes in a fancy tin
• You will smell so delicious

How many times has the following scenario happened to you? You wake up late and have to compress your morning routine into a matter of minutes. In order to get fed and clean, you shower and eat breakfast at the same time. You close your eyes to prevent soap from getting in, and lather up. Too bad you grabbed some bacon instead of the soap; now you are even greasier than before your shower. You feel nasty, but smell delicious. And that's how you have to go to work. Just think: if you had some Bacon Soap you could have that scent of bacon, without risking all the microbes associated with rubbing your naked body with raw pork products.
And now you finally can have that Bacon Soap you've longed for all these years. It's marbled like real bacon. It smells like real bacon. And while it doesn't taste like real bacon (trust us), it sure does a body good. A dirty body, that is. Pick up a few bars for you and your friends. Each bar of Bacon Soap comes in a retro, metal tin, which makes it look great near your sink and perfect for gift giving. Bacon Soap - because bacon belongs in your bath!

Bacon Soap

• Looks and smells like bacon - but it's a bar of soap.
• Comes in a fancy tin.
• Net Wt: 2.3oz
• Dimensions: approx. 3.75" x 2.375" x 0.875"

Bacon Wallet

What turns on women more than a wallet full of money?

A wallet full of BACON!!!

Bacon Wallet

$11.99

Keep your cash safe with meat

• All the beauty of uncooked bacon; all the handiness of a wallet.
• It's a wallet that looks just like uncooked bacon.
• Why are you reading this? It's a wallet that looks like bacon!

Bacon is perhaps the most viable form of currency the world has ever known. Think about it: it's kind of dollar shaped, it's tasty, it's um . . . it's . . . shut up, it's bacon. Bacon is awesome, and the more bacon products that exist, the better the world is. So why not keep your boring currency in a Bacon Wallet? That way, your cash will be safe and you can feel superior by the meat in your pocket.
The Bacon Wallet looks like meat, yes, but it's really not. BUT, it really is a wallet. And what a wallet! Two long pockets for your cash, six slots for credit cards, and three extra bonus pockets for whatever you want. Or you could always be very meta about it and use your Bacon Wallet to hold bacon. At least you'll always know where you meat is.
Bacon Wallet

• Looks like you keep your money in meat (but it's really vinyl).
• Two billfold pockets, 6 card pockets, and 3 bonus pockets.
• Dimensions: 4.25" x 3.75".

Bacon Air Freshener

In honor of Fathers Day, 

this week is now Bacon Week!

Like Shark Week, only more Awesome, more Epic, and Tastier! 

Bacon Scented Air Freshener

$2.99 

You know, for that new meat smell.

• Looks like bacon.
• Smells like bacon.
• Tastes like cardboard and chemicals (hey - don't eat it, okay?)

Everyone talks about that "new car smell." But sometimes new cars smell kinda stinky. Now, that "new bacon smell" - freshly cooked and sizzling - now that's a smell we love every time it hits our olfactory receptors. It's like if you built a castle out of pure diamond and floated it up on a cloud and you could only get there via jetpack that fired out rainbows. Yeah, the smell of freshly cooked bacon is like that. And now you can make any space smell like meat with the Bacon Scented Air Freshener.
Look - it even kinda looks like bacon. And it smells like bacon. And you can hang it anywhere you want to smell bacon - just use the hanging string. Each Bacon Scented Air Freshener will make you remember the times you've munched bacon and how happy you were. Seriously, though, the Bacon Scented Air Freshener - it's an air freshener that smells like bacon. What more do you need to know?
Bacon Scented Air Freshener

• It hangs up and smells like bacon.
• Perfect for your car, dorm, office, or anywhere else you want to smell meat.
• Includes a handy hanging string.
• Dimensions: approx 4" tall.

USB Pet Rock!

You have no friends. Dogs hate you. Cats hate you.

But do you know who loves you, 

and will never leave your side?

Your new USB Pet Rock of the FUTURE!

USB Pet Rock

Only $9.99 and you'll have a friend!

Return of a Classic

• A modern version of the 1970s pet rock
• Plug-n-play: Just plug it into your USB port
• No feed or care needed, draws no power

The Pet Rock phenomenon was an unbelievable experiment performed in the 70s by an advertising executive. The challenge: could he take a simple idea, market it, make people happy, and use it all to turn himself into a millionaire? The answer: yes. And . . . well, we at ThinkGeek love performing famous experiments to see if we can duplicate the outcome. But we need your help.
Simply plug the USB cable into a free port and let the fun begin. The USB Pet Rock will instantly begin to work its magic. People will stop by and ask you what your USB Pet Rock does. Each time, you can make up a new story; for no matter what you say, it will be greater than the truth - because these USB Pet Rocks don't do a dang thing. Except make you smile. And confuse your friends and coworkers, which will make you smile even more. So, get your USB Pet Rock today, and help make us rich tomorrow.
Here's why you need a USB Pet Rock now:

• They make a great gift for everyone we can think of.
• They don't need food or water.
• They don't chew on your stuff.
• They will make you instantly cool.
• They never talk back to you.
• They will forever love you in their own rocky way.
• They are the greenest USB products ever created, as they draw absolutely no electricity.
• They are compatible with Windows (7 and lower); Mac (all OS's); Linux; and all other past, present, and future operating systems - no drivers needed!

Product Features

• Pet Rock Plugs in with USB and gives you love!
• No feed or care needed
• Draws no power
• Compatible with any OS including Mac, Windows and Linux
• Each rock is unique (Please allow for natural variations in your USB Pet Rock)
• Rock is approx. 4" x 4" x 3"
• Includes 18" long USB cable

Grow Your Own Coffee

Finally a plant that repays you,

for taking care of!

Besides that one you grow in your basement,

under all those lights...

You know,

Your tomato plants.

What did you think I was talking about?

 

Grow Your Own Coffee Kit

$9.99

Enjoy coffee from seed to cup!

• Everything you need to grow your own coffee plants.
• And once you grow your own coffee, you can drink it! 
• It may taste like s***, but since you made it, it will be amazing!
• Coffee mug and coffee break not included.

We love drinking coffee. We love the taste, the smell, the warmth, and the zen imposed on us as we spend time grinding the beans ourselves. Such a lovely overall experience -from grinding the beans to brewing the coffee to savoring it as we check our social network sites . . . um . . . we mean, start working for the day. Well, let's take that connection to our beverage even further, by growing the coffee ourselves. And you can, too - you just need one of these Grow Your Own Coffee kits!
Each Grow Your Own Coffee kit has everything you need to grow your own beans. Just follow the easy-to-follow instructions (the packaging is actually a greenhouse!) and in 3-4 weeks you'll be seeing sprouts! Grow 'em at work, grow 'em at home, you can even grow 'em with your kids (hey, better to learn about coffee from you than on the playground). Get a Grow Your Own Coffee kit today - who knows, the coffee you drink in the future might be your own!
Grow Your Own Coffee

• Everything you need to grow your own coffee plants (Coffea arabica).
• Plants grow in greenhouse packaging and sprout in 3-4 weeks!
• Ages: safe for ages 4 and up (with parental supervision, naturally).
• Includes: coffee bean seeds, windowsill greenhouse, planting mixture, and information & instruction sheet.
• Greenhouse Dimensions: 9" x 4.5" x 6"

Flying Shark

Four kids go into the living room,

Only three come out.

Remote Control Flying Shark

$23.99

 Also comes in clown fish, 

for the less adventurous. 

About it:

Air Swimmers swim through the air with incredibly smooth and life-like swimming motion. These amazing fish provide hours of remote control indoor fun in even the smallest of rooms (not for outdoor use). They require only four AAA batteries (one in the body, three in the controller) and have complete up, down and 360 degree turning control. The Shark is remote infra-red controlled and will respond to your inputs moving up and down most importantly left to right with fish like tail movement. Remote control has never come to life so magically! The helium filled fish body is made from durable nylon and with appropriate use will stay inflated for weeks depending on altitude.

Space Pen

Can your pen write upside down, backwards, and in Zero-G?

Well this one can!

Now I know what you're thinking,

is that really necessary?

Hell yeah it is!!! 

 The Fisher Space Pen

$19.99

 

The Legendary Pen is here!

• Matte black or Chrome bullet-style pen, 5.3 inches open, 3.7 inches closed
• Writes upside-down, in harsh conditions (hot or cold), or even in zero-g!
• Used by the astronauts in both the Russian and US space-programs

The urban legend states that NASA commissioned an engineer to make a "space pen" that, when faced with the rigors of spaceflight - hot, cold, zero-g conditions... Standard pens didn't work! And so, after $1.5 million, and several months of development, engineer finally came up with the now-ubiquitous Space Pen. The Soviets, when faced with the same dilemma, came up with a different solution: they used pencils.
This urban legend is almost total bunk. Both US and Soviet space programs used pencils in their programs, yes, but abandoned the idea once realizing that pressurized oxygen environments needed to be as free from flammable materials as possible. Pencils and graphite dust, being highly flammable, were out. NASA never did approach Paul Fisher to make them a pen.
It was, in fact, the other way around! Fisher approached NASA and said, "Hey, important space-guys! My pen is, like, totally awesome and stuff. You should buy a lot of them." Okay, maybe there was a little bit of artistic license, there, but buy them they did! Now, both NASA and the Russian space-programs use Fisher "space" pens on their missions. Cool, eh?
See, most pens have cartridges that just use liquid tension to draw the ink across the roller ball and onto your paper. The Fisher design uses a pressurized cartridge that forces the ink onto the roller no matter what orientation it's in, and the specially formulated ink stays fluid in extreme hot and cold temperatures.

Features and Specifications

• Bullet-style Fisher space pen
• Pressurized ink cartridge writes upside-down, under water, in harsh conditions (hot or cold), and even in zero g!
• Used by the astronauts in both the Russian and US space-programs
• Chrome and matte-black style available
• Measures 5.3 inches when opened, 3.7 inches when closed
• Refills available from included order-form

Sugru Life Hacking Putty

Sugru This.

Sugru That.

Sugru Life.

Sugru Life Hacking Putty

$16.00 for  Just Enough

The ultimate putty for the DIY enthusiast.

• The most revolutionary putty compound we've ever played with.
• Mold it to hack, adapt, fix, make better anything and everything.
• Hardens in about 24 hours to form a waterproof, flexible, and awesome hack.

For those of us who break things, for those of us who don't like to accept what is given to us, for those of us who like to customize everything we own - a product has arrived to rock your world. sugru Hacking Putty is here! With sugru, "hack" means taking something and improving upon it, making it exactly what you want it to be. There's no room for stories here, as we have a lot to tell you about sugru Hacking Putty.
The science masters who created sugru Hacking Putty spent over 5 years perfecting the formula. To fix things, or to add bits, you take a bit of putty and mold it till you're happy. In 24 hours, you'll have a permanent hack. sugru Hacking Putty will still be flexible, however. And it's waterproof, temperature resistant, and more (see below)! Hopefully, you can feel the excitement pouring through these words, because we love everything about sugru Hacking Putty. We've already added grips to tools (with a little texture, too), fixed broken scissors, added some padding to our electronics, and made prototypes for things we can't even tell you about. So, do yourself a favor, get some sugru Hacking Putty now and hack everything in your life!
Allergy Warning: sugru contains Methyltris(methylethylketoxime)silane; Gamma-Aminopropyl Triethoxysilane. If you're allergic to this stuff - don't touch sugru. Use gloves, or get a friend to do it.

sugru Hacking Putty

• Hack, fix, and customize everything with the revolutionary putty.
• Features:
• Cures at room temperature - fully cured in 24 hours.
• Self-adhesive - sugru sticks to itself and almost any other substance.
• Temperature resistant - won't be affected from temperatures of -60°C to 180°C (-76°F to 356°F).
• Waterproof - since sugru is silicone, it's completely waterproof and durable outdoors.
• Flexible - maintains flexibility when cured, so you can fix/hack bendy things.
• Dishwasher safe - not even a soapy dishwasher can phase sugru.
• Frickin' Awesome - oh, it so is.
• Includes:
• 2 x Red Packs
• 2 x Blue Packs
• 2 x Yellow Packs
• 1 x Black Packs
• 1 x White Packs
• "7 Steps to Becoming a sugru Guru" mini booklet.
• New Wt: 8 packs of 5g (0.17oz) each.

Portal Gun!

Okay I'm not going to come up with something not that clever or funny for this.

This is serious! 

There are a limited amount of these being made, 

So you got to get 'em while the gettin's good!

Portal - Prop Replica - Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device [Limited Edition]

$374.99 

Orange, you are doing very well

• 1:1 scale replica of the Handheld Portal Device
• Features bright LEDs and firing sounds
• Limited edition: only 5000 pieces in the world!

"As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it's perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange, you are doing very well." - GLaDOS

Itching to be a co-op bot? This life size, 1:1 scale replica of the Handheld Portal Device will make you feel like you're really in the testing facility. Set the switch to the type of portal you want and pull the trigger. The Portal Device fits comfortably in one hand, freeing your off hand for sweet dance moves and high-fives for your partner.

Product Specifications

• Life size 1:1 scale replica the Portal Device
• Weighted so it does not roll or require a stand to sit on a flat surface
• Officially licensed Portal / Portal 2 collectible made by NECA
• Limited to 5000 pieces worldwide. (We only have a slice of those!)
• Dimensions: 8.5" wide (back shell), 30" long (longer with claws fully extended)
• Batteries: 3 C batteries (not included)

Pulp Fiction Wallet

 The Original BAMF.

Pulp Fiction BMF Embroidered Leather Wallet

$25.00

Product Features

THE MOST EXACT REPLICA BMF WALLET SINCE 1997 NOT SYNTHETIC, LIKE OTHER WALLETS ONLINE! If your gonna get the best possible Replica, ITS RIGHT HERE!

• 100% Genuine Leather
• Best Quality Embroidery Stitching
• 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
• Best replica embroidered leather wallet as in Pulp Fiction
• Not Synthetic like others online

 

Kevlar String

If they ever figure out how to make a

 Batman grappling hook

that retracts and can pull you up, 

this is the cord they will use for it,

or Spiderweb Silk, 

apparently that stuff is REALLY strong,

 like a strand the size of a pencil can hold a car!

But it's REALLY expensive, Kevlar isn't, so...

Kevlar Survival Cord

$6.99 for 25ft. 

Be Prepared for Anything

• Great for the outdoors, on this planet or another
• Strong! 25' long, 200 pound breaking strength
• Look like you'll steal yourself some adventure

Kevlar survival cord makes a great addition to any survival geek's arsenal. Need to tie something down (or someone up)? Works for that. Stranded on a hostile alien planet and need to make a bow? Done. Going out to the woods or cosplaying at a convention? You’ll look like you’re prepared for anything...even if the only merit badge you have is in Twitter.
This 25 feet of cord is as thin as thread -- great for you apocalypse-minded knitters! -- and has a breaking strength of 200 pounds. It’ll withstand extreme temperatures and is flame-resistant, even the heat of a forum flame war.
Product Specifications

• Twenty five feet of 200 lb test survival cord (for you, not them)
• Blue Polyurethane coating: UV resistance and help against abrasion
• Loads of uses in household, cubicle wars, or the great outdoors